I feel a great ease and comfort talking about anything to do with sex. With this, it is easy to forget that this is not the case for many people. Over the course of sharing my thoughts, feelings and ideas of sex on social media, I have noticed several common reactions or responses I regularly receive.
Some people will write a humorous or witty response. Others will message me in private sharing how much they appreciate my share but didn’t want to write it on my post. I will also get suggestive messages from men implying a desire to connect sexually. And I also get a whole heap of supportive comments in agreement.
The former 3 reactions point me to the fact that there exists so much shame around sexuality, to the point where people either use humour to disguise their discomfort (sometimes but not always the case I know), hide from the public their engagement with anything of a sexual nature or confuse the sharing of sexual information as an invitation to express desire in sometimes inappropriate ways.
I have a great sense of humour and love to laugh but I question whether the humorous comments lead to the message not being fully received. I LOVE to receive messages from people sharing that what I say resonates but I question why that person feels they can’t publicly own the fact they are reading my posts. And I celebrate people claiming their sexual desires but question why they believe sending suggestive comments to a stranger will give them what they truly yearn for.
The presence of sexual shame is not just having an impact to a few people on a minute level in my social media world.
The consequences of sexual repression and shame are destructive on a global scale.
Shame can prevent people from seeking care when they have a physical health concern such as genital pain during sex, erectile dysfunction, or even pregnancy complications.
Shame can result in the suppression of sexual desires to the point where desire is acted out in unhealthy ways through sexual abuse and rape.
Shame can mean that people who have difficulties communicating with partners, low sexual desire, mismatched desire in their relationship or general dissatisfaction with their sex lives do not seek support from those who are more than capable and willing to help them through the challenges.
Sexual shame is sadly so normal in our society but having it doesn’t need to be a reason why you hold yourself back from having the sex life you desire.
For those who feel that there exist greater possibilities for their sex and relationships: you are right!! It is a challenging thing to reach out and seek help BUT know that something far more beautiful, pleasurable and satisfying awaits you on the other side if you are willing to take a leap of faith.
If you have an intimate sexual or relationship issue and would like to work through it, feel free to get in contact with me to discuss ways I can support you here