I recently found a Clone-A-Pussy Kit which allows you to make a silicone replica of your vulva. I was ridiculously excited to try it for myself, imagining a 3D version of my lady parts could possibly be the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Upon telling several people of my plans, I received similar reactions that went something along the lines of “Why the hell would you want to do that?” It got me thinking why exactly it was that I was so keen to try it and I wondered if it was narcissistic of me. A wise person once told me “If you worry about being a narcissist, you most definitely are not one” so I was able to eliminate a personality disorder diagnosis and quickly realised that my desire to do this was an act of self-love, a reclamation of sorts.
I haven’t always felt so comfortable with my genitals to the extent where I’d consider creating a model of them. In fact, my pussy used to disgust me. I recall some of my earliest sexual experiences being purely focused on a man’s pleasure largely because of my reluctance to allow them to go anywhere near my pussy. I never looked at it and didn’t feel connected to it in any way.
There exists so much shame in the collective feminine regarding our bodies and our pussies. We are taught that what lies between our legs is something to keep hidden and are rarely encouraged to explore what our genitals look like.
I am currently reading the book titled “Girls & Sex” by Peggy Orenstein which discusses young women’s connection with sex and their sexuality. It validated my concerns that I wasn’t the only woman disconnected from her genitals, with feelings of disgust and repulsion reported by countless young women. Many young women interviewed spoke of not wanting a partner to perform cunnilingus on them due to fear of what they looked like and how this act felt too intimate. Some of these women didn’t even know what their vulvas look like and felt shame around seeing it themselves let alone allowing another.
I am filled with sadness when I think of how repressive it is for young women to not feel comfortable with every inch of their bodies, especially their vulvas and vaginas*
I have spoken to women aged into their 60’s & 70’s who claim that they have never seen between their legs. Some of these women have even given birth to babies!! How can we fully grasp what is happening to our bodies during life changing experiences such as childbirth if we don’t even know what our reproductive organs look like? And how can we expect a lover or partner to accept every part of our bodies if we don’t even know what they are looking at down there?
Women who are uncomfortable with their bodies are ultimately suppressing their personal power and usually channel harmful energy towards themselves instead of using that same energy to create a beautiful life.
Unlike men whose genitals are external, women need to really take the time to explore their genitals. This could mean grabbing a hand mirror or taking a photo. I would encourage any and every woman to try this exercise out and really observe what your pussy looks like, get to know it and understand where your anatomy sits. As well as discovering the wonder that is the core of our feminine bodies, it’s a great practice to start for health purposes as you will be able to see if there is anything out of the ordinary occurring to your body. It’s also helpful so that when you are communicating to sexual partners, you have a clear idea of what they are seeing and what exactly you’re asking them to touch.
There is something so empowering about loving all parts of our bodies and I have found that once we can find love and acceptance for our vulvas then finding love for all other parts of our bodies is so much more easeful.
Getting to know and love my genitals has made me feel pride for my body and femininity. I feel so much more comfortable being naked and have opened to greater pleasure, intimacy and connection because of my willingness to get to know it all. The process of fully loving our bodies wholeheartedly isn’t necessarily a short one but I believe it is a worthwhile journey crucial for every woman to begin in order to experience a life filled with greater beauty and love.
*(Terminology lesson: Vulva encompasses the external anatomy of a woman’s reproductive organs including the inner and out labia & clitoris and vagina is the inner canal where a woman would give birth or where a penis would penetrate. Despite its prior use in a derogatory manner, I personally like to use the term pussy as it encompasses it all and is an amazing term in my opinion).
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